PhD Working at Taco Bell

Spiritual Humor Presents - PhD Working at Taco Bell

 

[Narrator Introduction] John and Lindsey are at a University graduation ceremony watching some of their associates receiving their degrees.

John: I didn't know you knew Frank Hamilton. He and I go back a long ways. It is so good to see him finally getting his PhD. He worked so hard for it.

Lindsey: I know Frank because he served as a tutor in the Psychology department. He and I worked on a project together under Professor Kailoken.

John: He's up next to get his degree!

[Lindsey and John both cheer Frank on as he is handed his diploma] Go Frank go! Woo hoo! [whistles]

[John, Lindsey and Frank meet to have a celebratory dinner.]

Frank: It has taken several years of hard work, but here I am! Now I am Doctor Frank Hamilton!

Lindsey: Congratulations Frank, I have seen a lot of the hard work you have put into your studies.

John: Yeah, buddy, it is so good to see you achieve one of your dreams. Now what will you do?

Frank: I have applied for research positions at different places around the country. I hope that something will come through soon for me so that I can begin my new career.

Lindsey: Did Professor Kailoken ever serve as your advisor?

Frank: No, I had Professor Wakefield since I was interested in doing research. I had a few short discussions with Professor Kailoken as I worked on a project with him and took a couple of his classes. He is a very interesting man, and he certainly knows his stuff.

Lindsey: Yes, he certainly does. Are you guys ready to order yet?

John: I am starved, let's order.

[A few months later at the local Taco Bell]

Catharsis: Do you know what you want from this place yet?

John: I think so. I will have three of the bean burritos.

Drive-up Attendant: Can I have your order?

Catharsis: Is Gidget in today?

Drive-up Attendant: What gadget are you talking about man?

Catharsis: No, Gidget, the one that works for Taco Bell.

Drive-up Attendant: We don't have a Gidget working here at this location.

Catharsis: You know that Chihuahua dog mascot of yours.

Drive-up Attendant: Let me ask the manager…the manager says that she died a couple of years ago. Now can I please take your order?

Catharsis: That's too bad about the dog, she was kind of cute. Do you have any toy replicas of her that you can throw in with the meal?

Drive-up Attendant: We don't give out the toys sir. You need to go to McDonalds for that.

Catharsis: What's the difference between your Fresco and regular bean burrito?

Drive-up Attendant: The Fresco contains our fiesta salsa.

Catharsis: Does the fiesta salsa make you feel like you are having a party in your mouth when you eat one?

Drive-up Attendant: I wouldn't know about that sir, I never had one.

Catharsis: I was just trying to figure out why it was called fiesta salsa.

[The car behind starts to honk the horn]

Drive-up Attendant: I think it's because it is colorful sir. Now can I please take your order?

Catharsis: I see, well then give me two seven-layer burritos, hold the tomatoes and put on extra guacamole for me; and give me three of those Fresco bean burritos without the fiesta salsa.

Drive-up Attendant: That will be two seven-layer burritos, hold the tomatoes with extra guacamole. Then you want three Fresco bean burritos minus the fiesta salsa. Wait a minute, that makes it a regular bean burrito. That's real cute sir. Would you like anything to drink with that?

Catharsis: Do you have any water?

Drive-up Attendant: We can get you some water out of the fountain sir.

Catharsis: Give me one of those Strawberry Frutista Freeze drinks and a water with a slice of lemon in it please. That will be all.

Drive-up Attendant: Please proceed to the next window to pay for your order sir.

Cashier: That will be $10.27 please.

John: Frank is that you?!

Cashier: Hey John, yeah it's me.

John: What happened to you man, I thought you were all set having a PhD and all.

Cashier: There just wasn't any positions for me out there and I have to put food on the table. I will talk to you later buddy, I need to get to the next car now.

[Catharsis and John drive away]

John: That is a real shame about Frank.

Catharsis: That happens a lot with people who specialize in only one area.

John: What do you mean?

Catharsis: Many people with PhDs do not get employed in their chosen field because it is too specialized and there are not enough openings for all the specialists. Quite often they have to go back to school to learn another skill that is currently employable or do what your friend is doing until something opens up for him. That is why the team always suggests having skills in at least three different areas.

John: I shouldn't have as much of a problem as Frank since I am majoring in Computer Science. However, I will take your advice and learn a couple more skills to make sure.

Catharsis: That would be a wise move on your part there, now pass me one of those burritos!

[Later John and Lindsey discuss Frank]

Lindsey: Wow, that is interesting about Frank. I will have to talk to Professor Kailoken about that when I see him next.

John: Catharsis said that we should have skills in at least three different areas and I believe him. It is better to be safe than to work at Taco Bell.

[Lindsey expresses her concerns with Professor Kailoken]

Lindsey: I love studying about the brain and human behavior but I do not want to end up as a highly educated burrito roller.

Kailoken: There is nothing necessarily wrong with being what you call a "burrito roller," although you do have more to offer the world than that. That is why I suggested that you pursue a Master's degree that leads to you obtaining your Marriage and Family Therapist license. At least that way you can open up your own practice.

Lindsey: I am not sure I am capable of opening up a practice on my own right away.

Kailoken: I would not worry too much about that, since the Inner Illumination Team takes care of its own. However, we need to make sure that you have at least a couple of other skills to go with it. We can probably build something upon your prior camp counseling experience.

Lindsey: I always feel better when I talk to you or one of the other team members. If specializing is such a problem then why do it?

Kailoken: That is how western civilization makes progress. Some scholarly type comes up with an idea and then it is pursued until it is exhausted. The downfall of this particular strategy is that it is not very balanced and it may actually cause problems.

Lindsey: What do you mean?

Kailoken: People who specialize tend to be conditioned to seeing things in a certain way, which prevents them from seeing any novel or new way of approaching the same specialty.

Usually the new person in the field is the one who is open to doing things differently since he has not been thoroughly conditioned to be otherwise yet. Those approaching things from a fresh perspective are the ones who usually make the great discoveries.

Lindsey: Why don't more people know that?

Kailoken: As the saying goes, Rome was not built in a day. The team will keep doing their part in helping things get better. Now let's discuss your classes for the next semester.

PhD, spiritual humor, taco bell